This is what I heard behind me as I was typing on the computer earlier today. It’s actually fairly typical. And it really does make me sad, maybe the laughter is hysterical. I don’t know what to do with her.

Jessica: Little boy is not cute. Not, not, not, not, not, cute. You’re not cute! Leave me alone! You’re not cute! Go to your Mom! Don’t smile at me right now. Go to your Mom! Little baby boy is not cute.

She also gets really mad if he doesn’t smile at her when she thinks that he should. She’s very jealous when anybody plays with him. Both ways. If Sarah plays with him she’s jealous of the attention Sarah is giving to him but she’s also jealous because he’s smiling at Sarah.

Right now she’s reading him a story though, and it’s adorable.

“Here, I’ll read you a story. Sit here, baby boy. ‘Big and small, short and tall’ Oh, thanks for turning the page for me. We can read that page instead, ‘In and out, whisper and shout…’ …. wait, Sam, I didn’t even read you the whole book! ‘Wet and dry, hello, goodbye!’ Little cutie, cutie, cutie, cut-ie! Did you like the book?”

Motherhood is such a rollercoaster.

…of food and eating, do any of you read Kath Eats Real Food? She keeps a lovely photo-journal of everything she eats and I find it so inspiring.

I’m trying to shift my family’s eating habits more towards “real” food. Progress has been slow and small, but as I persist, I believe we are improving.

I’m so angry at myself.

I’m “trying” to lose weight. Except that I’m not actually doing any of the things that one would be doing if one were to be successful at losing weight. I keep on planning to exercise and eat right… and then not doing either one. (I could go into more detail on that, but I doubt anybody cares about the details.)

Predictably, the scale is not showing me what I want to see. I’ve already wasted 2 months and 2 days of this “new” year.

I told myself I was starting fresh yesterday. But, no, it’s just been more of the same.

Why does it seem like I spitefully, willfully, prevent myself from reaching my goals?

It makes me so angry.

P.S. Guess what I do when I’m angry?

So, four birthdays finished. Daniel had a good day. Not only did we have his birthday party, but the Primary had a swimming party in the evening so we had 2 parties in one day. The kids loved it! (Personally, I’m a bit worn out.)

Sarah is next, but we have a 3 week break.

On other topics, our closet floor (in our bedroom) is soaking wet for the second time this month. We don’t know where the water is coming from, it doesn’t seem to be within our suite and Ray talked to the neighbours last time and nobody else has noticed a problem. We’ll have to show the landlord when he comes to get the rent tomorrow — which means we really need to clean out the whole bedroom. Tricky, when our closet is a major storage area and we’ve had to pull everything out of there to steam clean the carpet.

Anyway, we have a lot of work to do today.

At least I’ll get a tidier bedroom out of the deal.

The birthday boy — nine years old!

Link.

The birthday party and an actual cake are planned for Saturday. (I’m hoping to get a more flattering photo at that time, too.)

Samuel’s Birthday. This album is all but done. I plan to go back and tweak a few things, make it a bit more consistent from the beginning to the end… but these are probably the very last new pages for this album. Except maybe for a table of contents and/or dedication page. I’m not sure. I’m feeling kind of emotional about finishing this album. My baby’s first year is over! Anyway, here are the pages.

link. link.

Jessica: I have a new boyfriend.
Me: You mean you have a new friend and he’s a boy?
Jessica: Well, ya-ah. That’s what a boyfriend is, Mom.

Jessica lost her first baby tooth!

“It looks like your husband cloned himself a few times.”

I don’t know how to respond to that kind of thing. I just kind of went, “Heh, heh, yeah.” It’s not that I can’t see it, I can. And it’s not that I object to the comment, I’m not offended or anything. I just don’t know how to respond.

So, in the van on the way home, I told Ray about this conversation and he says, “Does that mean I don’t need to bother with a paternity test then?”